Why 2018 Was The Best And Worst Year Of My Life

Wow. I can’t believe it’s already the end of this year. It feels like just yesterday I was at some random bar with my best friend bringing in the New Year for 2018. We drank champagne, through back shots, and danced the night away. I woke up the next morning a little hungover and met another friend for some pho and sprite (my age old hangover remedy from undergrad). Like most years, I had no idea what 2018 had in store for me when the countdown ended and the fireworks began.

The idea for this post came from a video I saw of Ariana Grande accepting the Woman of the Year Award at the Billboard Women In Music 2018 event. In her speech, Ariana said “I find it interesting that this has been one of the best years of my career and the worst of my life” and I felt that shit in my spirit. This year was one of the best and worst years of my life, ALL at once. Before I heard Ariana’s speech, I hadn’t really taken the time to reflect on how insane this year actually was.

This year had some great moments like me hiring a trainer and taking my health and fitness seriously, applying to law school, getting into law school, getting a full tuition scholarship for law school, turning 25, going to Coachella for the first time, going to the Dominican Republic with one of my closest sorority sisters, and was featured on my good friend Daniel’s podcast. All in all, some of best memories will come from this year.

However, this year also consisted of my Nana passing away less than a week after Coachella (which was enough on its own to make this this year the worst year of my life), falling off the health and fitness wagon when she passed away because I was sad and out of town for a while, starting law school and falling off the health and fitness wagon again, failing my first midterm, my anxiety coming back full force for the first time since undergrad, feelings of inadequacy throughout the semester, the worst finals season of my life, and a bunch of other shit I don’t feel like getting into.

Looking back at everything, I did have a great year but I would be lying if I said that I was always focused on the positive while I was living through it. There are still days when I get really down, especially when I wish I could call my nana and tell her just how much harder law school is than we expected. Some days I really do have to remind myself that the struggles I’m going through now are the things I used to pray for before they happened. While I’m happy for all 2018 taught me, I’m happy to kiss it goodbye, take the lessons I’ve learned, and hopefully* have a great 2019.

How was your year this year? Let me know in the comments

Goal Check: End of the 2nd Quarter of the Year (Apr-June)

The month of June end a little bit ago which means that we are now 1/2 way through the year. Just as I checked in with myself and my goals at the end of quarter one, I will be seeing where I’m at now that quarter 2 is over. Now is the perfect time to reflect on what has worked this first half of the year and what needs to change. Y’all know I’m always trying to 100 dif things so I’m just going to focus on the main goals I have.

  • Travel out of the country:

I am officially going out of the country for the first time since after my EuroTrip when I graduated high school (not including Tijuana). I’m going to the Dominican Republic for about a week later this month! I will definitely be writing about this experience once I get back and having time to settle so make sure you keep your eyes peeled for that!

  • Save $2,000 in a savings account

Okay so I’m not ashamed to say I suuuuuck at saving money but that’s mostly because I spend all my money on doing hoodrat shit with friends, and having a trainer! Lmao. Once I start school I want to be more conscious on being financially literate and establishing savings account. I think for the rest of the Summer I’m going to save a little bit of each check. If you have any tips for saving money let me know!

  • Lose fat & gain muscle:

I’ve made some decent progress on this goal since my quarter 1 check-in. Honestly, all things considered with my grandmother passing away back in April, I’m proud of myself for not turning to food for comfort, which I would have done in the past. I have been killing it at the gym and follow my meal plan 80% of the time or so. I’ve only lost about 5ish lbs since April but I feel myself getting stronger and I lost some body fat %. I think I’m on track to hit my first major goal weight for the end of 2018

  • Take my blog to the next level:

My blog has NOT been a priority for me since April and I’m okay with it. I don’t have regrets about putting my blog on the back burner once my life got crazy. The gym became my outlet so all I have been doing is going to work and working out. I’m just getting back in the hang of writing and managing my instagram so we’ll see where I’m at once quarter 2 is over.

  • Read one book every month:

I have read 2 other books since quarter 1 ended, both which I enjoyed a lot. In April I read The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz and Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. I recommend both to everybody. I want to write a review on both of them but we shall see how that goes.

  • Get my driver’s license and a car:

This hasn’t been a priority this quarter so no progress has been made on it. I’m going to have my license by the end of this summer. However, I’m not really sure about the car. We’ll see.

All things considered for how HARD life came at me in April, I’m proud of myself for at least staying on track with my health + fitness and doing everything I needed to do to go out of the country. I also read 2 out of the 3 books I wanted to read so that’s I’m happy about that to. I do want to get back on track with my blog but I still have 6 months to make it happen. Quarter 3 check-in I will have made some progress on that goal for sure. Overall, I’m happy and that’s what matters.

What are some goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year? What goals have you made progress on? What goals could use improvement? Leave me a comment and let’s talk about it!

How I Chose My Word for 2018

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Now that we are a week into the New Year, we should be well aware if our New Year’s Resolutions are realistic or overwhelming. Everyone is different and I understand that. I had every intention of accomplishing all of my New Year’s Resolutions last year and honestly I only accomplished 2 or 3 of them, which is still good. The one way I was able to accomplish what I did accomplish was by choosing a word of the year. While the practice of making New Year’s Resolutions is common, that doesn’t mean that it is the most effective of achieving your goals. Another method I used to reach my goals last year was choosing a word to guide me throughout my various goals of the year. No lists, no action plans, just one simple word I could keep in mind. I believe this was one thing that really helped me reach more of my goals and tasks then previous year.

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My word for last year was MANIFEST. I thought long and hard about which word I was going to choose before I made my final decision. I chose the word Manifest because I was guilty of over-planning and not taking enough actions related to my plans in 2016. I had launched my blog but wasn’t making it a priority, I had started taking classes for the LSAT but wasn’t actually sure if I wanted to take it or not, thus wasting my money, I had wanted to do a bunch of things I planned but didn’t do. The word manifest is defined on Merriam Webster’s dictionary as “to make evident or certain by showing or displaying.” I wanted to make all of my goals certain by displaying behaviors that would allow me to achieve them. So that’s what I did. I studied diligently for the LSAT and got a 160 (in the 80th percentile) which is wayyy better than I thought I’d do. I started posting on my blog more and learning skills to take it to the next level in the next year through webinars and reading articles. I fell short in the area of weight loss, but I did gain the knowledge to allow me to achieve those goals this year.  I also was able to come up with my word of this year by figuring out what I was lacking last year that made me fall short in a couple of areas.

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My word for 2018 is DISCIPLINE. After reflecting on what did and didn’t accomplish this in 2017, I realize that the thing that helped me do well on the LSAT and what I was lacking to reach the levels I wanted to for my blog and weight loss journey was all the same thing, DISCIPLINE. I can plan all I want but if I don’t have the discipline to do what I’ve planned or said I’m going to do then it won’t work out. I changed my phone screensaver to a quote I found on google that reads “discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to do it” and I feel that was one of my biggest weaknesses last year. I only did things when I wanted to do or when they were convenient and that is no way to take anything to the next level.

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This doesn’t have to be the way you choose your word. I was telling one of my coworkers about this practice and she chose the word Patience because she decided that would be a guiding principle that would help her the most in this upcoming year. What’s important is that YOUR WORD is chosen by YOU after reflecting on your principles, values, and goals for this year. Once you do this you can take out the sense of overwhelm with long lists and just ask yourself “does this action align with my guiding word for this year or bring me closer to my goals?” If it doesn’t, you know you might need to make a better decision. It won’t be easy at first, but it might be easier for you than keeping a laundry list of resolutions and things you don’t want to do this year.

So get out there, reflect, and choose your guiding word for 2018!

Did you have a word or two in mind when you read this? Leave your word(s) in the comments and tell me why you chose it!

 

 

Learning to Go with the Flow and Accepting “No”: an Ongoing Series

One of the things I’ve been trying to learn and accept more after graduating last May is that everything is not always going to go according to plan. Truth be told, most things in life don’t go according to plan…at least at this age.We have to always been prepared to adjust & adapt. As someone who has always struggled with rejection and being told no (in the business/accomplishment sense), this post-grad life has been especially difficult. Just as I wrote how important it is to be able to tell people no last week, it is equally important to be able to handle hearing “no” with class and grace. 


Applying for jobs and not getting an e-mail or call back can take a hit on one’s self-esteem. However, I’m learning to see the beauty in hearing “no.” There are times whn “no” doesn’t mean never. Sometimes, you have to listen when the universe says “No, not right now.” In many instances this just means that something better is on the horizon. I’m learning this as time goes on. Being told no isn’t the worse thing that can happen because you may be getting told yes for something else, you just haven’t realized it yet. 


Keep pushing on and keep reaching for your dreams. Don’t let one no (or even ten or twenty) render you hopeless and sad. One quote I like to live by is “what’s for me will always be for me.” Whether it’s for me right now, 5 years from now, or whenever. That doesn’t mean it will come effortlessly but it will come when you’re ready to handle it properly. Always keep this in mind and never let your passions die.