An Open Letter to 2019 Me

Dear 2019 Mara,

Hey girl, it’s Future Mara here. Fill up your hydroflask and get comfy because I can already tell you this one is going to be a doozy.

 

First of all, congratulations on surviving 2018 because we both know how badly it kicked our ass. Whew, I wouldn’t wish our 2018 on our worst enemy (obviously we don’t have one because we barely have time to get enough sleep, do all of our readings for school, maintain a gym schedule, and not burst into tears at the drop of a dime but you get what I mean), it was rough! But you survived it girl so go ahead and give yourself a round of applause for that alone. I’m happy to report that 2019 was better but by no means was it easy. 2019 is going to teach you some lessons that quite frankly are well overdue and ya need to learn em, so that’s great. Love that for you!

 

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The most important thing you’re going to walk away from 2019 being grateful that you learned is that until you take care of your mental health, literally every other thing in your life is not going to go well. Ya semester? You’re gonna struggle. Your health and fitness goals? Well sis how are you gonna thrive in health in fitness if you don’t know how to manage your stress and anxiety? Hmm, riddle me that? You know you’ve wanted to talk to someone since 2016 when you started having all those anxiety/panic attacks so just call who you need to call to set up the appointment. Stop being scared. You’re not going to listen until Fall semester but only because the world literally feels like it’s closing in on you but better late than never. Next time don’t put off what you know you need you need to do, even if it’s scary.

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Another way to lower your stress this year? Mind your damn business and be a little bit more selfish. I know you have always wanted to be the person who prioritizes others and being there for everyone but this just ain’t your season for that sis. As a matter of fact, this just isn’t how you’re going to want to live anymore after this year. Even as I sit here and type this I’m a little bit uncomfortable writing it but you have GOT to be more selfish with your time, especially your down time. Stop showing up for people who have consistently proven that the relationship is mostly one sided. It’s not even about doing things and expecting something in return but true relationships consist of two people who value and respect each other. How can someone value you when they only pop up when it’s convenient for that? Obviously extend grace to people because we never know what they have going on but that doesn’t mean you can keep investing so much in one-sided relationships. Take inventory on the purpose of each relationship in your life and adjust your expectations and behavior accordingly.

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Some people are going to be shitty this year (because that’s human nature) and you will probably do one or two shitty things too, whether or not that is your intention.  Remember to not take things personally but be self-aware enough to know when you fucked up and need to apologize. How people act is usually a reflection of what they have going on but sometimes YOU are the problem and it’s only a problem if you refuse to acknowledge it and do better in the future. You’re growing and becoming more self-aware this year but that’s not going to happen until you learn some lessons.

This year is going to be full of so much greatness! It’s also gonna have some sucky moments but it’s okay…you will overcome them like you always do boo. So just go out there and live your best life!

Sincerely,

Future Mara aka 2020 Mara

 

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